As i sit in my 7th floor penthouse gazing out across the bredth of the UK's disputed second city and onward to the restless power of the pennine mountain's, my mind begins to wander. I try to place myself as one of the thousands of economic migrants perfoming their daily exodus en mass and in my darkest hour i wish i was one of them. To say i have become disillusioned with the general discourse of my much maligned, ever repeating routine would indeed be putting it lightly. In terms the general populace can relate to, my degree sucks, im too stupid to actually do it and it's sapping the very life from my balls!
But i digress ... this is not my first venture into the world of general procrastination and self-promotion, far from it, i am an expert on me and feel it is my duty to inform the populace of my every whim, for this belief it has on numerous occasions been said that i am, arrogant, annoying and a downright scoundrel, to name but a few err's.
But enough of me, there are far more important matters at hand and i hope to use this page as a way of venting my frustration very much in a darkly, morbid, jack dee type of way.
First on my shitlist, why on earth do replacement razors cost as much as buying a new one. Now i know liverpool want a new stadium but to messers gillette and hicks i say BALLS, i'm one more dull shave away from growing a fabulous beard or indeed signing my life away to endorse Bic disposables, even if they are only good for a baby to shave with.
Speaking of gillete, why do they have Henry endorsing their razors? They talk of being the best etc, but for all the elegance and expertly delivered renault adverts, big terry has not sustained the type of success that should warrant a place among inter-sports elite. Federrer having a bad year and still claiming an olympic gold AND a major ... and as for tiger, destroying the field on one knee for the better part of two years is proof enough of their worth. I'd personally like to see Chris Hoy grapple with the gillette fusion, power, stealth, wunderkind, generic manly cool name, razor to tame the obviously muscular growth that dare dwell on his noble mandible. Imagine the advert ... 'Gillette, ach the best a wee bastard can get.'
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